It’s only fitting that the first Asylum movie I review is a rip-off. This one, if you can’t tell by the title, is a rip-off of Pacific Rim. How could any movie studio take the concept of kaiju fighting giant mechas and make it the most boring thing ever? I don’t know how, but the Asylum did.
Don't let the poster fool you- the monster doesn't look anything like that in the actual movie.
I have yet to review Pacific Rim on my blog, but as for now, I’ll just say that I freaking LOVE that movie. It holds my personal record of the most times I’ve gone to see a movie in theaters. It’s one of my favorite films! Apparently, someone at the Asylum saw the trailer for it, decided it would be a good film to cash in on the popularity, and made their own version of it with the stupidest title ever.
The only ways this film really rips off Pacific Rim is not just because of the title, but the timing of its production and release. They made this only because Pacific Rim was coming out. If not for Pacific Rim, this movie would not exist. Same goes for all other movies the Asylum ripped off. Atlantic Rim was meant to cash in on the real film’s popularity. They would fool uninformed people with the similar titles, and make a profit off of it. I wasn’t fooled, of course. I knew damn well what I was going into. I wasn’t expecting anything good at all. I was expecting, however, to be slightly entertained by how bad it was. Unfortunately, it’s not even enjoyably bad at all! It’s just plain bad! No entertainment value at all.
I can’t say that the formula of “kaiju coming from bottom of the ocean and humanity uses giant mechas to fight them” is a new thing exclusive to Pacific Rim. It’s not. There are several other franchises that use this formula or a formula really similar to it. So in that respect, Atlantic Rim is just unoriginal. Wait- Pacific Rim uses the same thing, so doesn’t that make it unoriginal, too? The thing about Pacific Rim is that it introduces different, newer and fresh ideas and plot elements to the table while sticking to the relatively same formula. Atlantic Rim, on the other hand… does not. It’s just generic, bland, doesn’t do anything creative with what it is, and is completely boring.
And, to put icing on top of this diarrhea sundae, the FIGHTS are terrible as well! How can you screw up the action in a kaiju movie? The classic ones always had at least decent action. Here, it looks awkward, and a little held back, like they know they could do more, but didn’t even bother. I know CG isn’t cheap, especially for low budget films, and it is time consuming and difficult. But other Asylum movies like Age of Dinosaurs have done better in the effects and action department. They’ll never have the same fluid motion and energy put into it like bigger productions, but they have done better… even if it’s just slightly.
Speaking of animation, the CG models themselves are crappy. No creativity at all. Just made some generic mechs and a couple giant lizards, and nothing else. While I don't think the design of the lizard is terrible, it is uncreative. Didn’t even try. Do I even need to go into detail about how the actors didn’t try? No. I don’t. They suck. The main character is just ungodly stupid. I REALLY hate him. If you ever watch this (and I hope you don’t) then you’ll know why I hate him.
To the film’s credit, there is one funny moment involving the guy with the eyepatch trying to kill the old general character. Whoever he was. But that’s the only amusing part of the entire thing.
I haven’t touched on the story that much, but do I even need to? The only thing that happens is giant lizards come up from the bottom of the ocean, and the military sends giant mechs to kill them. That’s it. Apparently, the military just had 3 giant mechs waiting to be used for situations that involve monster attacks or something. No other reason for building them. They just hoped that the mechs would come in handy someday, somehow. There’s some BS with the eyepatch guy, but the plot doesn’t get any deeper than that. I don’t expect this to be high quality and Oscar worthy storytelling, which it doesn’t need to be in order to be good, but it did nothing to keep me invested. There is no reason to take this seriously. Pacific Rim had plot elements that grabbed my attention. While I can’t say it had a perfect story, it had a lot more to it and was a lot more engaging than Atlantic Rim was!
I do not like this one bit. I can’t see anything good about it. Everything about it is uncreative. The characters are forgettable, the acting sucks, the production quality is cheap, the music is bland, and the effects make me think puppets or guys in rubber suits would look better. Even if you’re a fan of bad sci-fi movies, I wouldn’t suggest watching this. There’s no enjoyability for how bad it is. No fun whatsoever. Don’t even bother.
FINAL RATING: 1 / 50
STORY: 0 / 5
ACTING: 0 / 5
CHARACTERS: 0 / 5
CG: 1 / 5
ACTION: / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 0 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 0 / 5
REWATCH VALUE: 0 / 5
OWNING VALUE: 0 / 5
Congratulations, Asylum. Your movie officially has the second lowest score on the blog at this point in time. You deserve a cookie. A molded cookie. Made with battery acid. The lowest scoring movie on this blog is still Godzilla’s Revenge (1969) which got a 0 / 50. Atlantic Rim was only saved for having CGI worth ONE point. I actually have seen worse CG.
Anyway, this is only one of the Asylum’s many rip-offs. I’ll be sure to review at least two more rip-offs, then get to some of their original ideas. Or at least, as original as the Asylum can be.
No comments:
Post a Comment