After getting brainwashed by aliens, Godzilla decided to take a rest in a cave of some
unknown island. Too bad for him, because he gets woken up by some jerks and has to fight
a living oxymoron.
This movie is an odd one. Well, the whole series is odd, but this is one of the weaker entries. I've only seen this movie a couple times, and the first time was through Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you ever find that episode, give it a watch.
The story is about a group of idiots who get lost at sea. During their strey voyage, the ship gets wrecked by a giant lobster claw, with convenient James Bond music. They wake up on an island run by terrorists called the Red Bamboo. Yeah, I know, I'm shaking in fear. These guys have an entire military set up on the island, and they catch any natives to use as slaves. They use the slaves to make some sort of yellow liquid, which I don't recall ever being given a specific name. Just 'yellow liquid'. Anyway, the yellow liquid to fend off the sea monster living in the waters around the island.
So, how does Godzilla fit into this? He was sleeping in a cave on the same island. Lucky for our protagonists, or else the Red Bamboo would have succeeded in.... whatever it was that they wanted to succeed in.... I really don't remember.
Godzilla is woken up when the protagonists attract a bolt of lightning to a sword... sure. He busts out the side of the cliff and does battle with the sea monster... who is, as I stated before, a living oxymoron. How? He's a giant lobsterthing named Ebirah. Ebi is the Japanese word for shrimp, and he's about 50 meters tall. He is literally a jumbo shrimp.
For their first battle, the kaiju try to defeat each other by... playing volleyball with a rock. After they get tired of that, Ebirah unleashes his most powerful move... SPLASHING! Oh man, he's playing dirty now! Needless to say, it’s not the most exciting battle.
After finally boiling the lobster, Godzilla proceeds to ravage the island and destroy all the terrorists. During his raid, he gets randomly attacked by a giant condor. Is this condor controlled by the bad guys? Where did it come from? Why does it want to make the editor’s life a living hell? We never know. It just.... happens.
When he started fighting the planes is when I asked myself the question: If highly trained military forces can’t stop a 165 ft tall kaiju, then how would a small group of terrorists who call themselves something as stupid as the Red Bamboo do anything against him? No idea.
They eventually realize how screwed they are, and start the island’s self destruct sequence.
You know, for those occasions for when your base is getting destroyed by a
This movie is an odd one. Well, the whole series is odd, but this is one of the weaker entries. I've only seen this movie a couple times, and the first time was through Mystery Science Theater 3000. If you ever find that episode, give it a watch.
The story is about a group of idiots who get lost at sea. During their strey voyage, the ship gets wrecked by a giant lobster claw, with convenient James Bond music. They wake up on an island run by terrorists called the Red Bamboo. Yeah, I know, I'm shaking in fear. These guys have an entire military set up on the island, and they catch any natives to use as slaves. They use the slaves to make some sort of yellow liquid, which I don't recall ever being given a specific name. Just 'yellow liquid'. Anyway, the yellow liquid to fend off the sea monster living in the waters around the island.
So, how does Godzilla fit into this? He was sleeping in a cave on the same island. Lucky for our protagonists, or else the Red Bamboo would have succeeded in.... whatever it was that they wanted to succeed in.... I really don't remember.
Godzilla is woken up when the protagonists attract a bolt of lightning to a sword... sure. He busts out the side of the cliff and does battle with the sea monster... who is, as I stated before, a living oxymoron. How? He's a giant lobsterthing named Ebirah. Ebi is the Japanese word for shrimp, and he's about 50 meters tall. He is literally a jumbo shrimp.
For their first battle, the kaiju try to defeat each other by... playing volleyball with a rock. After they get tired of that, Ebirah unleashes his most powerful move... SPLASHING! Oh man, he's playing dirty now! Needless to say, it’s not the most exciting battle.
After finally boiling the lobster, Godzilla proceeds to ravage the island and destroy all the terrorists. During his raid, he gets randomly attacked by a giant condor. Is this condor controlled by the bad guys? Where did it come from? Why does it want to make the editor’s life a living hell? We never know. It just.... happens.
When he started fighting the planes is when I asked myself the question: If highly trained military forces can’t stop a 165 ft tall kaiju, then how would a small group of terrorists who call themselves something as stupid as the Red Bamboo do anything against him? No idea.
They eventually realize how screwed they are, and start the island’s self destruct sequence.
You know, for those occasions for when your base is getting destroyed by a
kaiju and you need to make it even more destroyed. It’s logical.
Luckily for the good guys, Mothra, now in adult form, is on her way to save them... after waiting several hours to do anything while the island natives sing to her. As for other plot conveniences, the annoying guy of the group got caught and sent into slave labor. He tells all the other slaves to replace the yellow liquid with fake yellow liquid, so Ebirah will attack them when they evacuate. And that’s exactly what happens. Ebirah crushes the ship and kills all remaining terrorists. So... how did the Red Bamboo not see their slaves switch out the liquid? Did they not have any guards or supervisors watching the slaves? Seriously? Ah, who cares.
After the Red Bamboo is gone, the kaiju start round two. So, we have the King of the Monsters vs a shrimp. Who’s going to win? Atomic breath, or the ability to .... pinch.... stuff... Truly, this is Godzilla’s most epic battle!
Obviously, Godzilla wins. He rips off both claws, and sends Ebirah swimming away like the loser he is, making Godzilla our winner. Is anyone surprised?
It all ends with the island blowing up, and Mothra carries everyone to safety. This is an underwhelming movie. It’s not the worst, but it’s definitely not the best. I know the movie isn’t about the humans, but it is so focused on them, and Godzilla doesn’t appear until about 40 minutes in. Speaking of the kaiju, the fights aren’t too impressive either. The effects are average, nothing special. I will say that the storyline with the Red Bamboo is one of the more interesting subplots of a Godzilla film, and it would have been cool if they did it right. And if you were ever wondering why there was a scene where Godzilla was attracted to a human female, it's because his role was originally meant for King Kong. But I know the real reason. The girl he's attracted to is played by the same woman who played Namikawa in the previous film, and if you read my review of it, you would know that I think she's really, really, really hot. And putting her in a bikini was not a bad decision.... not bad at all.
Like I said, this isn’t the worst Godzilla movie, but it is an odd chapter. Too many plot conveniences for the people. The fights, though not as good as the last 4 installments, do provide good riffing material. Actually, the whole movie provides that. So grab some alcohol, if you are of legal age, and tear this one to shreds. It’s worth it.
FINAL RATING: 21 / 50
STORY: 2 / 5
ACTING/DUBBING: 1 / 5
CHARACTERS: 2 / 5
SPECIAL EFFECTS: 3 / 5
ACTION: 3 / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 3 / 5
TONE: 0 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 3 / 5
Luckily for the good guys, Mothra, now in adult form, is on her way to save them... after waiting several hours to do anything while the island natives sing to her. As for other plot conveniences, the annoying guy of the group got caught and sent into slave labor. He tells all the other slaves to replace the yellow liquid with fake yellow liquid, so Ebirah will attack them when they evacuate. And that’s exactly what happens. Ebirah crushes the ship and kills all remaining terrorists. So... how did the Red Bamboo not see their slaves switch out the liquid? Did they not have any guards or supervisors watching the slaves? Seriously? Ah, who cares.
After the Red Bamboo is gone, the kaiju start round two. So, we have the King of the Monsters vs a shrimp. Who’s going to win? Atomic breath, or the ability to .... pinch.... stuff... Truly, this is Godzilla’s most epic battle!
Obviously, Godzilla wins. He rips off both claws, and sends Ebirah swimming away like the loser he is, making Godzilla our winner. Is anyone surprised?
It all ends with the island blowing up, and Mothra carries everyone to safety. This is an underwhelming movie. It’s not the worst, but it’s definitely not the best. I know the movie isn’t about the humans, but it is so focused on them, and Godzilla doesn’t appear until about 40 minutes in. Speaking of the kaiju, the fights aren’t too impressive either. The effects are average, nothing special. I will say that the storyline with the Red Bamboo is one of the more interesting subplots of a Godzilla film, and it would have been cool if they did it right. And if you were ever wondering why there was a scene where Godzilla was attracted to a human female, it's because his role was originally meant for King Kong. But I know the real reason. The girl he's attracted to is played by the same woman who played Namikawa in the previous film, and if you read my review of it, you would know that I think she's really, really, really hot. And putting her in a bikini was not a bad decision.... not bad at all.
Like I said, this isn’t the worst Godzilla movie, but it is an odd chapter. Too many plot conveniences for the people. The fights, though not as good as the last 4 installments, do provide good riffing material. Actually, the whole movie provides that. So grab some alcohol, if you are of legal age, and tear this one to shreds. It’s worth it.
FINAL RATING: 21 / 50
STORY: 2 / 5
ACTING/DUBBING: 1 / 5
CHARACTERS: 2 / 5
SPECIAL EFFECTS: 3 / 5
ACTION: 3 / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 3 / 5
TONE: 0 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 3 / 5
REWATCH VALUE: 2 / 5
OWNING VALUE: 2 / 5
Just for laughs, here's a best of compilation of the MST3K episode I found on youtube.
OWNING VALUE: 2 / 5
Just for laughs, here's a best of compilation of the MST3K episode I found on youtube.
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