Saturday, August 1, 2015

Son of Kong (1933) "movie" review

I’m almost positive that most people reading this didn’t know that this movie existed. You’ll wish you hadn’t heard of it. You’ll wish it was never made. It is a candidate for one of the worst sequels ever put to film. Worse than the straight to video Disney sequels.





This is the unholy abomination that is Son of Kong, the almost entirely unknown sequel to the 1933 classic masterpiece of cinema. What is Son of Kong about? The movie in its entirety is utterly and unforgivably awful that I can hardly remember witnessing a cohesive plot. It starts off with Carl Denim, the director character that had the idea to go to Skull Island and bring Kong back in the first movie. He’s taken a lot of blame for the damages that Kong caused in New York. He decides to leave the US with the same ship captain that took him to Skull Island and goes to the Netherlands. There, he meets some annoying girl that can’t act, can’t sing, and definitely should never have been in this movie. She’s just one of many useless characters, but for the sake of having a ‘love interest’, the filmmakers decided to put her in the story. The ‘romance’ between her and Carl Denim is nonexistent. They just suddenly decide that they love each other at the end of the film, with no development of their relationship at all.


While in the Netherlands, Denim learns that there’s apparently some ancient treasure on Skull Island. At first, I thought the character that mentioned this plot point was lying just so he could go onto the island and bring something back, but it turned out to actually be there later on. This serves as the BS reason to return to Skull Island so we can have a second movie. There isn’t any backstory to the treasure, either. There’s no legend behind it, why it was made, what it’s made out of, or anything. How would the characters even know what the treasure looks like when they see it? The answer- when the script says so. Not only do they find the treasure, but there also happens to be a young member of Kong’s species on the island as well. There’s no indication that it’s really Kong’s son, nor is there any evidence that it’s even related to him, but as long as there’s a ‘Kong’ of some kind, this sequel can exist to try and cash in on the success of its predecessor. Did I mention that it was rushed out in just 9 months?


The studio barely gave anyone working on this movie enough time to put any effort into it. The writer, Ruth Rose, knew that there was no way the sequel could surpass the original. She was quoted saying “If you can’t make it bigger, make it funnier.” It wasn’t funny, though. It was annoying. It was almost as annoying as the little kid from Godzilla’s Revenge. Almost.


Perhaps the most disappointing element of the film was the adventure on the island. Skull Island feels a lot smaller and less wild than what was seen in the first movie. The backgrounds are boring to look at, and there isn’t even a whole lot of variety or creativity with the creatures. There was one bear, one styracosaurus, two or three unidentifiable plesiosaurs, and one Kong. On that note, the "son of Kong" himself is dumber and more insufferable than Godzilla's son. And that's saying something. The stop motion is also degraded and unimpressive. Once again, it’s done by Willis O’Brien, but it’s undoubtedly the worst piece of work that he ever did. I’d say that when it comes to this aspect of the film, it’s kind of forgivable. I can’t fault it too much for being under a tight schedule. But at the same time, it’s disappointing and honestly rather sad to see a great film’s fantastic land of wonder get utterly downgraded.


On the subject of downgrading Skull Island, the big ‘climax’ of the movie is the sinking of the whole darn island. It comes out of absolutely nowhere. It’s like writer Ruth Rose just gave up near the end and said “Screw it. Sink the island. I don’t care.” I think maybe it was because the characters removed the treasure, and the island sinking was a failsafe thing, but by the time it gets to this part of the movie, the audience won’t have much left in them to care anyway.


In conclusion, Son of Kong is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in my life. It’s boring, the characters are stupid, the writing is more horrible and choppy than the special effects, and it’s not a wonder why practically nobody has heard of it before. It’s a piece of garbage that should have stayed lost in the past forever.


FINAL RATING: 2 / 5
STORY: 0 / 5
ACTING: 0 / 5
CHARACTERS: 0 / 5
STOP MOTION: 2 / 5
ADVENTURE: 0 / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 0 / 5
TONE: 0 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 0 / 5
REWATCH VALUE: 0 / 5
OWNING VALUE: 0 / 5

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