Monday, August 17, 2015

Mortal Kombat (1995) movie review

Not only is this a movie based on a video game, but it’s a movie based on a video game made in the 1990’s. Let that sink in.






For those unfamiliar with Mortal Kombat, it’s a series of fighting games that started in the 90’s, with a game simply titled Mortal Kombat. It become popular with its massive amounts of blood and gore that hadn’t been seen in video games before it. It was so intensely violent (for the time, anyway) that it actually caused the existence of the video game rating system, the ESRB. Parents were having hissy fits, thinking that exposing their kids to such violence would turn them into psychopathic killers. Well, considering that no kid can successfully remove someone’s head and spine with one hand, or punch someone’s head off, or use lightning-god powers to blow up heads, or do any of the outlandish, cartoonish finishing moves from a VIDEO GAME, I’d say that the paranoia was for nothing.

With such popularity, it came as no surprise that a film would be made to cash in. Thus, in 1995, the Mortal Kombat movie was released. The story followed what little plot there was in the first game. The best fighters from Earth travel to the Outworld to compete in the Mortal Kombat Tournament to retain the balance of power between the two planes of existence. These fighters are Kano, a cyborg-ish criminal, Liu Kang, a kung-fu artist, Raiden, the less cool version of Thor, Johnny Cage, a martial artist turned hollywood actor, Scorpion, a skull faced ninja that shoots fire, Sub-Zero, a ninja with the powers of Elsa from Frozen (if Elsa was a ruthless killer), and Sonya Blade, a military lady person… or something. The tournament is overseen by the soul-stealing Shang Tsung, who gives the cheesiest and most over-the-top performance of the entire movie. And that’s saying something.

The best characters are Scorpion and Sub-Zero, mostly because they never speak, aside from Scorpion’s iconic “GET OVER HERE” line. The others are either annoying or emotionless. The worst is Sonya Blade. Sure, Johnny Cage is annoying, Kano is annoying, Liu Kang is stupid, and so on… but Sonya is simply weak. The girl who is able to set people on fire by blowing kisses at them (in the first game, anyway) and who snapped a guy’s neck with her thighs about halfway through the movie, for some reason can’t get away from the grasp of Shang Tsung while he’s got her arm pinned to her back later in the film. She relies on her friends to come and save her. It’s not like Shang Tsung had a spell on her or anything! He just grabbed her arm and APPARENTLY is rendered defenseless! It doesn’t help that I didn’t care for her character to begin with also.

None of the performances are anything more than what you’d expect from a video game based movie of this time period. Neither is the writing, but then again, it didn’t need to be. With a plot as straightforward as the game it’s based on, there really wasn’t much of a chance to screw it up. For the most part, it didn’t go wrong. It stays faithful to the source material (what little there was at the time), has a lot of recognizable characters from the game, but it lacks creativity or effort to make it any more interesting. It’s just a bland product from an awkward portion of 90’s cinema. You’ll find a more compelling and engrossing story in the newer MK games themselves!

The element that really kills this movie for me is the special effects. They are the epitome of awful. The sets look just a hair better than haunted house amusement rides, the props look like toys, and the costumes look like something you’d buy for $12 from Walmart. This especially goes for Kano’s cyborg eye, and the ninja outfits for Scorpion and Sub-Zero. The worst effect in the film is the CGI character known as Reptile. He looks worse than anything on the Nintendo 64, worse than the animation from Beast Wars or Veggietales, worse than anything else computer generated that I’ve seen in my life. However, the animatronic effects on Goro, the 4-armed half-dragon warrior guy do look good. But that’s all that costume does. Look good. When he fights, he lacks the speed and energy that the rest of the fighters have. He’s not nearly as animated as the rest of the movie calls for.

On that note, you may be wondering the quality of the Kombat in the Mortal Kombat movie is. It’s a bunch of awkward slow-mo flips and kicks that look almost as choreographed as the lightsaber fights from the Star Wars Prequels. Not to mention all the weird grunts and noises everyone makes while doing said flips and kicks. The reason the action sucks is because of one thing. One singular, fatal choice that ruined any chances of having a fun movie. They made it PG-13.

Why would they restrict themselves like that? This is Mortal Kombat we’re talking about! The games that are loved for the gore and blood! We should have been seeing people getting their heads ripped off! We should have seen Sub-Zero tear out someone’s intestines and choke them with their spleen! It should have been an all-out blood-fest! Instead, we get flipping and kicking and people yelling incoherent battle noises.

Here are the Fatality moves from the latest instalment of the Mortal Kombat games, Mortal Kombat X. This is what we should have seen. (Note, not for the faint of heart or weak stomached)




Other than that, there isn’t a whole lot to say about this movie. The story is boring, the characters are stupid, the fighting is unimpressive and the effects are horrible. The only good thing to come out of this movie is the theme song. Listen to it, and that’s all the more you need to expose yourself to this unbelievable failure.





FINAL RATING: 5 / 50
STORY: 1 / 5
ACTING: 1 / 5
CHARACTERS: 0 / 5
SPECIAL EFFECTS: 0 / 5
ACTION: 0 / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 2 / 5
TONE: 0 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 1 / 5
REWATCH VALUE: 0 / 5
OWNING VALUE: 0 / 5

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