Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Transformers: Dark of the Moon movie review

This is arguably the best of the trilogy. It’s a huge improvement over the second, and it’s on a larger and grander scale than both prior movies. Sure, critics still hate it, but who cares what they say? Dark of the Moon is a great film nonetheless. This review has MAJOR SPOILERS, because I feel like I need to go over some of the major plot points in order to give a proper review of this film. If you haven’t seen it, you have been warned.





My initial reaction to this movie when I walked out of the theater was “Well, that kicked @$$.” I had just witnessed one of the greatest action sequences ever! And I actually cried a couple times. I’ll get to that later. I know people just watch these movies for the effects, and critics hate it for that, but as I said in my review of the first film, I see it for more than the visuals. I do expect there to be amazing visuals, yes, but again, I also pay attention to the plot. I know, hard to believe anyone on the planet can be invested in the plot of Transformers, especially of it’s by Michael Bay, but it’s true.


First, some backstory. I thought the film itself explained it well, but people still don’t get it. I don’t blame them. There is a plot hole that forms out of the setup, and it got confusing. I’ll do my best to explain that.


Optimus was not the original leader of the Autobots. His mentor, Sentinel Prime, was the original commander. Sentinel was responsible for uniting Cybertron after thousands of years of chaos and famine, due to The Fallen destroying the Prime Dynasty and leaving Cybertron without leaders. Sentinel was also mentor to Megatron, but we all know how well that turned out.


During the war, Sentinel devised a plan to save Cybertron. What that plan was remained unexplained in the comics, but whatever it was, it must have been pretty important, because Optimus Prime said it was their last hope. Unfortunately, the ship Sentinel was hauling the super secret and special cargo on, known as the Ark, was destroyed, and lost to space. The intro scene to the movie explains the rest. The Ark crashes on Earth’s moon, starts space race, and now we have our movie.


It has some of the same plot elements as the first two movies. Government cover ups, government official that hates the Autobots, long lost Cybertronian secret, big new threat, and big battle. But the content here is done well enough and is interesting enough to not feel like the same thing over again. And I have to say… this movie has the best, though kinda confusing, plot out of the trilogy.


I’m not joking when I say that Dark of the Moon is the combination of two G1 cartoon episodes, Megatron’s Master Plan, and The Ultimate Doom. Find those episodes on Netflix or something. If you know the plot of those episodes, then you already know the plot of this movie. The Ultimate Doom just happens to be one of my favorite 3 parter episodes of any show, so it was nice to see that adapted to the big screen. Megatron’s Master Plan was alright, and I guess it was nice to see that rolled in here as well.


Of course, at the center of this all is Sam Witwicky, the character I utterly hated in Revenge of The Fallen. He’s actually a lot more tolerable here. I end up kinda liking his character a bit. I guess I should mention his new girlfriend. She’s played by a Victoria’s Secret model. That fact right there should mean every reason for her to fail and for me to hate her. But shockingly, she does a good job for her first time acting! She’s a likeable character, and I can actually believe her relationship with Sam more than Mikaela from the first two movies. It is also my personal opinion that she is more attractive than Megan Fox. I never liked Megan Fox, so it was nice to see a change that worked.


I also have to say the comedy with the human characters is improved. I laughed quite a bit at Sam’s office. Wang was insane, but given his situation, he has every right. John Malkovich is funny, John Turturro and his assistant are over the top and a bit cartoony, but they are enjoyable.


There is, however, one problem I have with Sam and his arc. One singular fact that I have tried to find a way to debunk, but couldn’t. He and his girlfriend are absolutely 100%....


POINTLESS.


I’ve owned this movie for 3 years, watched it dozens of times, I’ve looked back and tried to find things that could negate my statement, but there is nothing stopping me from saying it. Sam is pointless. He is not needed at all. In the last two films, he was the center of it all. He had some sort of Macguffin the Transformers needed. Here, he has nothing. No crazy symbols leading to an energon source, no key to a lost relic, no shard of the Allspark, no nothing. The Autobots, or the humans of NEST, could have progressed the plot without him and the outcome would not be any different. What did he do? Give nothing but exposition which would lead to plot points that would have been revealed with or without his help. He didn’t need to go to the Russian cosmonauts to discover Sentinel was the key to the operation, because the Dreads would have come for Sentinel anyway, and what him being the ‘key’ really meant would come to light eventually.


Well, what about when he was sent to spy on Optimus to see if they had a plan to fight back? Do you KNOW how stealthy Laserbeak is? He snuck from one room in an office building full of panicked people to another and disguised himself as a brand new copier without being seen by a single person! I’m pretty sure he could spy on the Autobots. Heck, he wouldn’t need to! Starscream would have done his job at destroying them anyway! Or what about him getting the idea to travel to Chicago to bring in the human agent of the Decepticons? Tyrese Gibson’s character would have gotten a group together anyway. No, he wouldn’t even need to do that, because the Autobots would have arrived no matter what.


Seriously, everyone linked to Sam could be removed from this film, and the plot with the robots would not have changed at all. We could have had a story about the freaking Transformers! With the robots at the center of it! But no, we get this forced human story. I could sacrifice the humorous moments at the office for a much more serious plot with the robots. Though, for what we get, it’s still entertaining. And I don’t really mind the humans too much at all. The overall plot is still engaging.


Enough talk of puny flesh creatures, we have robots! We have a few brand new characters in this movie. Unlike ROTF, where there were too many to follow (for the common moviegoer, at least) the lineup of new guys is smaller. It only amounts to 12 instead of the 20+ new characters from ROTF.


With the Autobots, we have Mirage, a Ferrari, who unfortunately only gets 2 lines and not a whole lot of screentime. I’m not kidding when I say he is my favorite new Transformer from this film. I played the tie-in video game, and DAMN is his voice sexy. An Italian Cybertronian that turns into a Ferrari? Sold. I’m not the only one in the world who loves this guy. He’s pretty awesome, given his limited screentime. For some reason, his name was changed to Dino in the film. I know he’s a Ferrari, but come on.


We also have Brains, another minicon to accompany Wheelie. I like him as well. He and Wheelie share some humorous moments, but they aren’t obnoxious. This film also features the Wreckers: Leadfoot, Topspin and Roadbuster. They’re angry Scottish guys that turn into Nascar vehicles. Nascar vehicles with guns. Lots of guns. And it’s amazing. They aren’t showcased as much as you would expect, but they’re fun while they’re on screen.


As for the Decepticons, we have the Dreads: Crankcase, Crowbar, and Hatchet. These are the freakiest looking Transformers I’ve ever seen in my life. Crankcase looks like the Predator. Don’t believe me?


There’s your proof. The Dreads are short lived, but they’re part of one of the more memorable scenes of the film: the highway chase. That entire scene was intense and exciting and all sorts of awesome! It’s one of the best car chases ever. Heck, the Dreads aren’t even in their car forms in this scene! They just charge through everything on foot! I love it!


Also with the bad guys is the one eyed purple people eater: Shockwave, and his pet, the Driller. Leading up to this movie, the fans were under the impression that Shockwave was going to be the main villain of the film. Surprisingly, the filmmakers tricked us. They purposely gave false information to hide the true villain… and we didn’t see him coming. It’s disappointing to see Shockwave get the short end of the stick, after being hyped up like he was. He didn’t do much at all.


Perhaps the most important character of the film is Sentinel Prime, voiced by none other than Leonard Nimoy! Nimoy had voiced another Transformer, Galvatron, in the 1986 animated movie. It was nice to see him do more voice work for the franchise. Of course, there are TONS of Star Trek references. Sentinel even says “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” That’s awesome.


When I look at his design, I see an ancient Cybertronian Knight. Look at him.



That is awesome. I also think it’s a bit of foreshadowing for things to come. His design is not as complex and intricate as the others. He still has a lot of detail on him, but he’s a different style than all the others. If you look at the new Optimus from Age of Extinction, you’ll see the obvious redesign makes him look like more of a medieval knight. This kinda follows the same thing Sentinel was going for.  

The last new character is an Autobot named Wheeljack in every other source of media- comics, toys, games- but his name in the movie is Que. Wheeljack was the Autobot’s top scientist, but I don’t think they had to take that fact so… literally.



Why the heck did they need to make him look like Albert Einstein? It looks too human! I know Transformers have looked human like before, but this looks awful! I remember the first time I saw him. I said “I really hope this stupid abomination dies. This is unacceptable.” I never was disappointed with the looks of other robots from the movies, but this was too far.


I honestly did not expect that. I didn’t think his death would be as heartbreaking as it was. In fact, I was surprised how serious the film got. THIS one isn’t screwing around. The Decepticons come down to Earth and they start obliterating everything in their path! And it shows the destruction of Chicago. It showed people getting shot and turned to bone like some sci-fi from the 50’s! These Decepticons mean business, because this is their big plan, their last attempt to win the war and turn Cybertron into the ultimate force of the universe. When I say $h*t gets real in this movie, I mean it. $H*T. GETS. REAL. The final act of Dark of the Moon makes it the most serious the films have ever gotten… as well as the most action packed.


The big battle in Chicago is spectacular! It delivers just what people want from a Transformers movie: wanton destruction and cool looking robot fights. The story doesn’t matter here anymore. We all know by this point what needs to be done to save the day, so let’s just watch a show off of top notch effects and fight sequences! This makes it worth your while. The best part is that it lasts for about 45 minutes to an hour. Somewhere in that time frame. Watching it the first time, I was thinking “this never ends. I do not see the end in sight for miles. Perfect.” That’s me, though. I have no problem with long movies, as long as it’s engaging and entertaining. Dark of the Moon is all of that. But this isn’t a ‘mindless popcorn action flick’. There are some genuinely emotional moments. One of them made me bawl like a little baby for days on end. Since I need to get this off my chest, this also means SPOILERS OF THE MAJOR KIND.


If you don’t want to know what happens, turn away now. If you already know or don’t care, be my guest.


The second most shocking part of the film was how serious and dark the execution scene is. You know how I was wishing for Que to die? Well, my wish was granted. And I immediately felt like a jerk 3 seconds later. I did not expect that. I thought I would be relieved, but I only felt bad. It’s one moment the films did well.


The most unexpected twist of the live action franchise was also featured in this movie. I didn’t see it coming at all. It was a betrayal. It’s one of the most well done betrayals I’ve seen in a movie, believe it or not. Who would dare betray the Autobots? I couldn’t believe it myself- Sentinel Prime. I thought he would team up with Optimus, I thought I would see 2 Primes fighting side by side, but NO! I had never been more surprised in my life.


Why do I think this twist is done well? For starters, it has almost no foreshadowing. The only thing that could count is in the beginning, when Wheelie is watching Star Trek on TV, and says “I’ve seen this one. It’s the one where Spock goes nuts.” Even then, the film doesn’t put emphasis on that line at all. I hate it when other movies try to give vague foreshadowing, but it ends up making it extremely obvious, ruining the surprise. If you read the IDW tie-in comics (I mention them a lot, but they are vital in understanding the overall plot of the movies), then you know that Dark of the Moon had some big secret in it that was only hinted at. The hints did not make anyone think ‘betrayal’ at all. It was vague and mysterious. We knew that Sentinel and his secret technology were important to the plot, we just didn’t know exactly how much.


In the film, there were no indications that Sentinel had other motives, no lines that gave it away, no shots of him having a suspicious look on his face, nothing. In my eyes, THIS is how you do a plot twist. No obvious hints. I know elitist people will say “It’s Transformers, there’s no way it could do a plot twist right! It only surprised the 11 year olds in the audience.” Well, I guess they know everything, right? Yeah, screw those people. I’m not saying it’s the best plot twist conceived by humanity, but it’s a better twist than Shyamalan has been able to do in the last decade (and one of the better twists PERIOD).


However, his betrayal wasn’t the part that made me cry… it’s who he kills after he reveals himself. He kills my #1 favorite character of the live action movie franchise, and one of my favorite Transformers characters ever: Ironhide. When I got home from the theater, I cried my eyes out. No joke. I’m sure it’s hard to believe, or sounds downright stupid that a person can like a Michael Bay movie so much and be so invested in it and the characters in order to cry when a robot dies, but it’s true. To this day, I still tear up when I see that part.


What sucks about it is that the other characters do not care that Ironhide died. They don’t try to help him or mention his name, nothing. Optimus doesn’t even say anything about it! What the F?! Yeah, okay. I guess nobody cares that Optimus’s most trusted ally who has been here since the first movie is dead. He wasn’t that important, right? Nah.


Although, there were plenty of people concerned for Bumblebee. Ugh.


Worse still, that scene is immediately followed by a comic relief scene from Sam’s parents! I don’t mind the dad too much, it’s the stupid mom everyone hates! You can’t go from a shocking, serious moment to this within a blink of an eye! It’s the same problem I had with Thor: The Dark World. After this big funeral for an important character in Thor’s life, it cut right to comic relief! That’s not how it works!


Anyway, why did Sentinel betray the Autobots? Why did he betray his own ideals that he himself set up for the Autobots to follow? He made a deal with Megatron, because in his eyes (or optics) Optimus was not doing what was necessary to end the war, so Sentinel took matters into his own hands. Unfortunately for him, his plan was postponed after getting lost into space. Soundwave was the first to discover it. After the events of the first two films conspired, Soundwave informed Megatron of Sentinel’s ship. It was here that Megatron decided to execute his plan, his biggest and final plan to take control of Cybertron and rule the galaxy. But this lead to Megatron taking a backseat AGAIN. Sentinel took control of his Decepticon forces. I feel sorry for Megatron. He can never catch a break. All he wants at this point is to save Cybertron. Sure, after doing so, he’ll try to make it the dominant force of the universe, but still.


The twist brings some confusion to it. Firstly, what exactly was the real reason for coming to Earth? The deal was made before the Allspark was lost into space, so I don’t think Megatron knew of Earth at this point. Or The Fallen told him of the star harvester he had hidden there. That brings up another question: how will Megatron fit The Fallen into the plan? It’s been 3 years, and I still get confuzzled about it. The tie-in comics cleared some things up, but not even the talented writers at IDW could fix every plot hole.


Minus that bit of confusion, the story was pretty solid. There was one other part of the story that left me questioning for a while. ANOTHER SPOILER. It’s when the Autobots were exiled. Turns out they do have a space cruiser, so they get sent off into space that way. Soon after launch, Starscream blows up the ship. It doesn’t look like anything could survive that, but this is Transformers, the Autobots always have a way to survive. It’s a bit complicated how they do it, but the part I don’t like is the fact that the movie thinks it can fake us out. It is painfully obvious the Autobots live! It’s impossible to fake anyone out with that!


This film has yet another fakeout, but it’s even worse! It’s the execution scene, again. After Que dies, rather quickly, I might add, Soundwave chooses Bumblebee to be next up. Does Bumblebee die? NO. For some reason, Soundwave takes his sweet little time. He goes slower than Slowpoke Rodriguez on downers. They didn’t move this slow when they killed Que, so why are they now?! Also, Sam just now decides to try and help, but his gadget glitches out. Why didn’t he try to help Que? Just because he’s not Sam’s best car friend means we’re not supposed to care. Great. first I felt guilty for wanting Que dead, then the movie has to take a pi$$ on his corpse with this ‘suspenseful’ moment.


“Oh, I can’t look! I’m fearing for Bumblebee! Oh, I hope he doesn’t die! Oh, that one guy? Nah, who cares?” Of course they’re not going to kill their most marketable character! Sure, they have awesome characters like the Wreckers they could put in the marketing, but who cares about them?


I’ve been saving this little rant for a while, but now is the time to express my opinion on Bumblebee. I like him, he has a nice design, he has one of the best kills of the movie, but he is WAY OVERRATED! He’s overused, overmarketed, and has too many freaking figures in the toyline! He steals the spotlight from all the other cool characters! The filmmakers keep shoving him in our face! I can understand the emphasis on a human, but when it does cut to the robots, it should have a fair amount of screentime and dialogue for each of them. I know they can’t fit everyone in, but they still need to try showing off the others! Who knows? Maybe they’ll find another character that the general public will recognize and enjoy? Whenever I ask someone to name at least 5 Transformers from the movies, they always say “Umm… Bumblebee… Optimus… umm… Bumblebee… the guy with the gun….. Bumblebee…” It’s horrible. I wouldn’t say it’s Michael Bay’s fault, since he’s not the root of all evil like people say, it’s Hasbro and Paramount’s fault for thinking he’s the only one worth showing off!


Now, Optimus is the other most marketable character, and he’s the robot who gets the most lines of dialogue in each movie. He’s basically the guy carrying the franchise on his shoulders at this point. But you don’t see me complaining about him! That’s because he’s OPTIMUS FREAKING PRIME!!!! The whole movie could be just him and nobody else, and I would be satisfied. Nobody in the universe can say “I don’t like Optimus Prime” unless something’s wrong with them. Bumblebee on the other hand, is overrated. He’s got his good moments, but he needs to be used less.


The part that really got me mad was when Ironhide was killed, and everyone was screaming “Bumblebee! Get to safety!” That is total BS. Why not be concerned for Ironhide? You could really use him more than Bumblebee! But no! Save Bumblebee! Save the cute, cuddly yellow guy! The kids love him! No other robots deserve his screentime or popularity! NOBODY! Love him! Buy his toys! ALL OF HIS TOYS! No one else matters!


Other than all that, I can’t really find much else to dislike about this movie. It comes as no surprise that the effects are good, but the cinematography is the best it’s ever been in the series! The part that really showed it off was the wingsuit scene. They actually had guys in wingsuits glide over Chicago, and added in all the aliens and destruction. That had to be one of the more impressing sequences, along with the highway chase, building attack, and Optimus Prime’s rage. And does he rage! He takes out 13 guys in one sweep! He doesn’t even need to be looking in their direction, and they blow up! You might say “That’s just a pointless and stupid Michael Bay explosion! How typical!”, but you can’t deny it looks amazing! Who cares if there’s explosions? Super robot death battle! Things are going to explode! It may not look as flashy in real life, but I can guarantee you it’s similar.


Needless to say, Optimus is the best fighter in the film. He gets the #1 most fantastic kill move in the franchise, to none other than Megatron himself! It’s about time he died and STAYED dead! How many times has he gotten away, or just disappeared in the other series? It was the right decision, by Optimus. Sure, Megatron did say he wanted a truce, but his meaning of truce is different. He wants to be back in charge of his Decepticons after Sentinel was a huge jerk and took command away from him. That would just drag on the war. Optimus didn’t want that at all, so he put an end to it (and it was great!).


I don’t view this Optimus as a savage brute. He did what needed to be done. And after all the BS he’s been through, who can blame him for losing his cool? He needed to end the war, and there was no other way other than killing all the enemies. Do you think he didn’t try reasoning with them? He did, and it lead to the death of a lot of innocent people and Autobots. This was the only way. It was a hard decision, but it was the right thing to do.

In conclusion, Dark of the Moon is the 2nd best Transformers film to date (until Age of Extinction can be compared to it). It gives the viewer what they want from a Transformers movie. The story is simple, but executed well. And simplicity never means ‘poorly written’, it just means it doesn’t attain to be a high class art house film. Not every movie has to be like that. They also aren’t unholy pieces of garbage ruining the cinematic experience. It’s Transformers, it’s supposed to be a fun, action packed joyride, and that’s what we got. Great camera work, great CG, great fights, and most of all, a great soundtrack. The soundtrack is one of the most important parts of a movie to me, and Dark of the Moon has the best score out of all of the Transformers movies.


There isn’t much wrong with this one. I love it, it’s one of my favorite movies ever, and I am glad I own it on DVD.


FINAL RATING: 46 / 50
STORY: 4 / 5
ACTING: 4 / 5
CHARACTERS: 4 / 5
CG/EFFECTS: 5 / 5
ACTION: 5 / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 5 / 5
TONE: 4 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 5 / 5
REWATCH VALUE: 5 / 5
OWNING VALUE: 5 / 5

I can’t wait for the fourth. Unfortunately, I’m not seeing it on opening day. I have my IMAX tickets scheduled for June 28th. That’s right, I’m going IMAX, just as the filmmakers intended that movie to be seen! I don’t care if I’m one day late, I want the proper experience for it.


Unfortunately for you, and everyone following me, the reviews you’ll see will all be bashing the film, whining about Michael Bay, saying it’s a disgrace to cinema, saying all this other crap and not even being fair. I don’t claim to be an expert on reviewing movies, and I don’t want to sound like an elitist jerk, but if you want an honestly fair review for any Transformers movies that come out in the future, I’m your guy. There might be others who judge it fairly, so that would make me ONE of your guys.

I might be a hardcore fan of the franchise, but I’m not a blind follower. If something sucks about Transformers, I’ll point it out. But I’m not going to whine, hate and bash on it because ‘Michael Bay’, or some other stupid reason. So, expect a review late Saturday night, June 28th.

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