Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 movie review

This honestly isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.

The concept of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is completely stupid. I guess that’s why I and so many other people liked it as kids. I didn’t grow up with the original show, however. I grew up watching the 2003 series…. which kicked @$$!!! I was never a huge fan of TMNT, but I still liked it.

Even though this movie has Michael Bay’s name plastered all over the marketing, it doesn’t feel like a Michael Bay movie. That’s probably because he’s only one of the producers. There are plenty more people you can blame for ‘ruining your childhood’ (if you are one of those people whose childhood was supposedly ruined). If this was truly a Michael Bay film, everyone would be cussing left and right, Megan Fox would have been oversexualized, and there would be endless explosions (I personally have nothing wrong with the endless explosions).

Since this is NOT a Michael Bay movie, there are only about 2 instances where the characters cuss, Megan Fox is dressed way more modestly and is not filmed like a sex object, and there really aren’t that many big explosions. It’s like the filmmakers knew this was for kids, so they actually toned it down, but didn’t go the completely childish route. Parents can take their kids to see it without having to worry about excessive cussing, excessive innuendos, and oversexualized actresses.

People really need to quit blaming Michael Bay for everything, when he only had a small part in the making of this movie. He just had his name all over the marketing. That’s it. Now that I have that out of the way, let’s get into the movie itself.

The story, while simple, is actually pretty good. It’s not great or anything, but it’s Ninja Turtles. Do you really expect Oscar worthy… anything? Not that it needs to be Oscar worthy to be good. The human actors are surprisingly alright. Megan Fox does look as though she’s trying her best, given the script. She does alright. I’m not a fan of Megan Fox at all, but I can tolerate her here. Mostly because she’s not some pointless girlfriend character that’s only there for the looks. She’s an okay-ish part of the movie. Is she the right choice for April Oneil? No. But she tries, so I have to give her credit there.

Will Arnett is the weak side character in the movie. He’s even more misplaced than Megan Fox. He does better work as a voice actor, but he’s onscreen here for some reason. I think the movie would’ve done fine without him.

Perhaps the greatest characters of the movie are the Ninja Turtles themselves. It’s not like Transformers where they have only 4 lines and fight in the background while the guy gets his girlfriend to safety. Instead, there is a good balance of screentime between the humans and the turtles. Their personalities really shine through, and they’re all enjoyable. The problem I had with the past cartoons was that I couldn’t really tell which turtle was which. The only one I could identify was Mikey. I knew he was the one with the orange mask. In this movie, the turtles are designed to look unique from one another. They each look different and I can actually tell them apart.

Speaking of their designs, they’re not as ugly as I thought they could’ve been. The lips are a little weird, and I do think they could’ve made them look a little bit better, but they are mutated turtles. They’re not going to be pretty.

My favorite character out of all of them was Mikey. He’s always been my favorite, and he’s freaking hilarious in this movie! He’s the most entertaining part besides… oh, I don’t know… the sweet looking action! The hand to hand combat was great! The choreography of the ninjutsu was impressive, the avalanche scene was exciting, and the fights with Shredder were something to be seen. The action sequences don’t shake like the cameraman is having a seizure. They frame up the fights so you can see all of what’s going on. I love it.

The music to accompany the fight scenes sounded familiar. It reminded me of Transformers. No, NOT because of Michael Bay at all. It’s because the music was done by Brian Tyler. He didn’t compose any of the Transformers movies, but he did create the music for the TV show, Transformers Prime. The score to that series was fantastic, and the score to TMNT was just as good.

Perhaps the weakest point of the movie was Shredder. In my eyes, there will never be a better incarnation of Shredder than the one from the 2003 show. Just look at this guy.

That’s the kind of stuff I grew up with. The new Shredder’s design was pretty cool, I still like it, but not as appealing as 2003 Shredder. Since I love robotic things in movies, I couldn’t help but be impressed by this one’s design.

His action sequences were cool, too. He has an entire kitchen drawer for his weapons. All kinds of knives and swords that shoot out and retract by these neat looking magnet things. The sound effects for his suit were all sorts of awesome as well. But the reason I don’t like this one too much is because all he does is look cool.

He doesn’t have any personality. He’s just a bad guy with a bad@$$ robotic suit of death. There’s nothing more to him. He does not have the same vibe of the 2003 Shredder at all. So out of everything in this movie, Shredder was most disappointing. That’s because I didn’t have high expectations for it in the first place.

In conclusion, it’s a really fun, enjoyable movie. It actually does represent the Ninja Turtles in a positive way. The movie does require some knowledge of Ninja Turtles lore for audiences to understand some of it, but it doesn’t completely throw you in blind. The dialogue could have been better, but I wasn't too bothered by it, considering it's a film about... well... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. liked it, and I’d probably watch it again if I had nothing else to do. I’ll most likely go see the sequel (which is inevitably happening). I know kids will enjoy it, young teenagers will like it (there was an entire group of 12-13 year old girls behind me that wouldn’t shut up), and it’s good for at least one watch. 

All I really wanted from this was to be entertained. I knew this wasn't going to be great, but I sat down and enjoyed it nonetheless. Check it out.

FINAL RATING: 35 / 50

STORY: 3 / 5

ACTING: 3 / 5

CHARACTERS: 4 / 5

CGI/EFFECTS: 4 / 5

ACTION/COMEDY: 5 / 5

SOUNDTRACK: 4 / 5

TONE: 3 / 5

ENJOYABILITY: 4 / 5

REWATCH VALUE: 3 / 5

OWNING VALUE: 2 / 5

Also, you might notice that the final battle is very similar to the final battle of the Amazing Spider-Man. Well, the reason it seems that way is because it is. Yes.