Took long enough to get to this one, didn’t it?
If you’ve been following for a while you’ll know that I reviewed nearly all the Godzilla movies ever made in anticipation for the new movie that came out recently. I couldn’t manage to get a copy of this one, though. I honestly thought I’d never see this without having to pay over $200 for the DVD off of Amazon. Luckily, it happened to be on TV one night, so it all turned out fine.
This was the 14th Godzilla movie, released in 1975, and it introduced one of Godzilla’s most memorable enemies: Mechagodzilla. Unlike his later incarnations, which are man-made, the original Mechagodzilla was built by aliens using ‘space titanium’ (titanium of the space variety. From space.) These aren’t just any aliens… they’re space apes. I kid you not. Intelligent apes from space. That built a 170ft tall robotic dinosaur.
Why do these apes want to take over Earth? Because their home planet is about to be sucked into a black hole, and need to colonize Earth so they can survive. I like that they actually give the aliens an actual reason for wanting to kill everything, instead of just being EVIL, like the guys from Planet X in Godzilla vs Monster Zero.
These aliens must have really been determined to take over Earth, because Mechagodzilla is equipped with an amazing amount of firepower. Finger missiles, toe missiles, knee missiles, chest laser, eye lasers, rocket jets for flight, a super spinning head that spins so fast it generates a force field (don’t ask me how that works), anal grenades, a crotch death ray, and atom bombs for testicles. Maybe those last 3 weren’t really in the movie, but with all the other weapons, I wouldn’t be surprised if the space apes thought of that.
Mechagodzilla doesn’t mess around in the fights. He beats the crap out of Anguirus, then rips his jaw open just like King Kong did to the T-Rex. He even makes Godzilla bleed! Not just a few little drops of blood, he turns Godzilla into a fountain! Blood spurts everywhere! And it isn’t too often that Godzilla bleeds.
Fortunately, Godzilla has an ally called King Caesar. No, not Julius Caesar, but the weird looking lion… god… thing…. I have no idea what the heck he’s supposed to be.
Does he hold his own against Mechagodzilla? No. He get’s his @$$ handed to him like everyone else. Although I will admit he does have a neat ability. When Mechagodzilla shot his lasers into King Caesar’s face, it went right into his eye… then shot out the other eye back into Mechagodzilla! That’s helpful.
It seems as though everyone is screwed over… then Godzilla somehow turned into Magneto and pulled Mechagodzilla toward him, allowing Godzilla to twist off his head. Strange, because his head was capable of spinning a whole 360 degrees, repeatedly, at speeds high enough to generate a force field. And it suddenly can’t withstand Godzilla twisting it around? Okay. Sure.
Not much more to say about this one. The fights are pretty cool, the soundtrack is nice, but once again the dubbing is crappy, and the human characters themselves are forgettable. What did I expect out of them anyway? I’d recommend giving this one a watch…. if you can ever find it. It’s a classic film that every Godzilla fan needs to see.
FINAL RATING: 26 / 50
STORY: 2 / 5
ACTING: 2 / 5
CHARACTERS: 1 / 5
SPECIAL EFFECTS: 3 / 5
ACTION: 4 / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 4 / 5
TONE: 2 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 4 / 5
REWATCH VALUE: 2 / 5
OWNING VALUE: 2 / 5
I know I haven’t posted in a while, but I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things pretty soon. I have a few ideas of what to review next, and they’ll be up shortly.
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