Yet another Asylum movie. I just can’t stay away from them, can I? This time, it’s there ripoff of After Earth, arguably the worst movie of 2013. Which means that someone who works for the Asylum, saw the trailer for After Earth, and said “yeah, that looks like it’ll be good. Let’s cash in on its success.” And thus, the piece of crap we have with us today, known as Apocalypse Earth, was born. Ugh.
I’m proud to say I’ve never seen After Earth, nor do I ever plan on seeing it ever in my life. Instead, I get to watch this. Is this worse than the Shyamalan movie? Well, if you’ve seen After Earth, and want to watch this out of sick curiosity, then I’ll let you be the judge of that. As for me, I’ll stick to just this.
This movie is the definition of lazy. It’s like they didn’t even try… and since this is the Asylum we’re talking about, that’s saying something. It’s lazily directed, lazily written, and lazily acted. The only character I actually remember was the android. The emotionless robot was more charismatic than the humans, and he was the only character I liked. The rest are extremely forgettable. I can’t remember any names or personalities.
To complain about the crappy CGI effects by this point would be to beat a dead horse. They’re just as bad as usual. Although I do have to give them props for the invisibility effects on the ‘chameleon people’ or whatever the heck they’re called. That was the only slightly impressive part of the whole thing.
The story was almost nonexistent. They just crashed on the planet, and…. it went on from there. It was just scene after scene of nothing interesting. It dragged on for way too long, and made me feel like I was stuck on that planet with them forever. By the end of the movie, I was saying "Please, just end... just get it done.... for the love of Santa Clause, END ALREADY!!!!" That's not a good thing.
One of the plot points I really didn’t get was the ‘romance’ between the main army guy character and the forest girl. They met one day, and decided they liked each other the next. It’s a better love story than Twilight…. but not by much.
Surprisingly, there wasn’t a lot of insane Asylum BS like there was in Jack the Giant Killer and the others. Maybe that’s why this one was so boring. There was nothing completely unnecessary nor over the top crazy elements in it to keep my attention for long. There were giant bugs, a giant lizard, natives with invisibility powers, but that’s it. It isn’t really ‘out there’ like the other Asylum movies are. This is the one time where the stupid crap would actually be welcome…. but the movie fails on every level.
This is perhaps the laziest Asylum movie I’ve seen thus far. I would like to have made this review longer, but there isn’t anything more to say about it. The movie just sucks. That’s all there is. It’s as simple as that. Quite boring…. quite lazy…. now excuse me, I want to take a nap.
FINAL RATING: 1 / 50
STORY: 0 / 5
ACTING: 0 / 5
CHARACTERS: 1 / 5
CGI/EFFECTS: 0 / 5
SURVIVAL/SCI FI: 0 / 5
SOUNDTRACK: 0 / 5
TONE: 0 / 5
ENJOYABILITY: 0 / 5
REWATCH VALUE: 0 / 5
OWNING VALUE: 0 / 5
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